For hundreds of years, civilizations across the world have put their faith in magic and charms to help them achieve feats that they would otherwise not have believed possible. Shamans, witch doctors, gypsies and wise-men have been consulted on topics from health and wealth to careers and life choices.
However, the topic that most psychics will have been consulted in is the age-old topic of love. Those searching for partners or seeking the affections of a particular person have often sought a magical spell, elixir or charm that will make them irresistible to the person they want to be noticed by. However, the question remains - do love charms really work?
The power of love?
Many religions and belief systems use prayer or magic spells through which to affirm their good wishes and intentions. Some believe that there is substance to these affirmations, and that they are a way of channelling positive energy to affect a positive resolution to an illness or a difficult situation. Even science has put its hands up and admitted that there seems to be some link between positive thought and positive effect.
An experiment conducted in America used a group of hospital patients as its subjects. People were asked to pray for certain patients, where the others were used as a control group. The patients that were prayed for, even though they were unaware of this fact, recovered from their illnesses and operations quicker than those who were not. Even though no scientific explanation has been found, there are many in the scientific community who are starting to accept that there may be something in the power of positive intent.
However, love is a different matter. While illnesses are a matter of circumstance, love involves two people and, in order for things to develop, they most both feel the same way about each other. The danger of love charms and potions is that they are, rightly so, seen as manipulative. You are somehow artificially changing someone’s point of view for the benefit of the other person. Consequently, love charms are viewed by many as something distasteful and not to be involved with. However, love charms are still successfully sold and undertaken on a daily basis. Simply search the Internet and you will be presented with an array of charms and suppliers. But the do they actually work?
Who’s charming who?
The answer is yes, but depending on how you look at it. The popular perception of a love charm is something that has an effect on someone else. However, to see how these artefacts work, we must first understand just why someone might want to use one. Typically, those who use love charms are those who have little confidence in their own abilities to attract the partner they want. It may be that they are ill at ease with the way they look, feel financially inadequate or even somehow feel that they are ‘not worthy’ of the person they are pursuing. It may be that they feel that they go unnoticed or that the other person is ‘out of their league.’ What all these feelings have in common is that they point towards a deep-seated insecurity in the pursuer. They feel that, without some external intervention, they stand little or no chance of getting closer to the person they want to be with.
The rules of attraction
A love charm provides that person with the idea that the decision will soon work in their favour; that they will suddenly be noticed and perceived in a different way. In effect, the presence of a charm acts as a diffuser for the person who is using it. The pressure of the situation is reduced for them. As a result, there is the possibility that they will feel more comfortable in the presence of their desired partner and even feel less self-conscious about whatever it is that troubles them.
In turn, with the pressure reduced, they may unconsciously begin to amend their behaviour, appearing more confident and less desperate to garner attention. Ultimately, this may or may not have an affect on the way they are perceived by their desired partner, but that is not the whole point.
Psychologists and behavioural experts tend to agree that people who are considered to be attractive tend to be more secure in themselves. Whether they are conventionally good looking, affluent or fashionable doesn’t seem to matter. If someone is ‘at home in their own skin,’ their confidence is almost infectious and people gravitate towards them, finding their company attractive. If a love charm is able to provide the user with a boost of confidence, as they believe that their intended target is now under some exterior influence, then the charm has, in effect, worked – but not on the person it was originally intended for!
The most potent form of love is self-love. Once a person has truly come to terms with who they are and learned to embrace it on all levels, then they assume a level of attraction that cannot be defined by physical beauty or fiscal worth. A love charm may well put the user on the path to self-acceptance by changing the way they see themselves. Those who feel insecure about the way they look or behave tend to second-guess the way they are seen by those around them – particularly if they are attracted to a particular person. Yet, if they assume that the way that they are perceived has changed, then it is more than likely that the way they perceive themselves will change in accordance.
There are many theories expounding the virtues of love charms, the herbs used and the spells cast but, at the end of the day, if someone doesn’t find you attractive, there is very little you can do about it – other than changing the way you feel about yourself. While love charms may be a physical affirmation of a higher intent, their best effects are on those who use them, not on those for whom they are intended to be used.