Why we should say 'could' not 'should'
It’s a simple fact that we all put way too much pressure on ourselves. Every day we rush around telling ourselves what we ‘should’ be doing, who we ‘should’ be seeing and what we ‘should’ really do that evening, when all we really want to do is laze around in front of the TV.
We put so much pressure on ourselves every day to try and be a superwoman and keep everyone happy, but are we really keeping ourselves happy? If your answer to this is ‘no’ and you’re far too busy making sure everyone else is alright to take proper care of yourself, then it’s time to start saying ‘could’ not ‘should’.
Next time someone asks you to do something, if you find yourself saying ‘Ooh, I really should’ when you don’t really want to, tell yourself you ‘could’ instead, and it puts a whole new slant on things. We have a choice what we do in life, even though it doesn’t always feel like it!
We’ve been conditioned to think that if we don’t do what everyone else wants us to do we’re somehow selfish, but that often makes us act selfishly towards ourselves. And if we end up feeling resentful about the things we do, it’s unhealthy and we’ll end up feeling angry, which again ends up hurting us.
By simply changing ‘should’ to ‘could’ you’re giving yourself permission to ask yourself what you really want to do, rather than making a snap decision because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do.
Compare the two:
‘I really should offer to babysit my friend’s children even though I’m shattered, have a huge backlog of housework and people coming to stay the next day.’
‘I could offer to babysit my friend’s children, but really I need to look after myself because I’m feeling a bit run down and if I explain she’ll understand.’
Somehow just changing that one word takes the pressure off us. And when we’re under less pressure, we feel more relaxed and a lot happier. And let’s face it, happiness is what we’re all striving for.